Today, I will introduce you to a concept that really gave me perspective and understanding on love relationships: Masculine and Feminine energies.
Love is energy at its purest form.
Do you find it hard to sit still and relax? Do you feel lazy and guilty if you aren’t constantly working through a to-do list?
Or perhaps your issues are just the opposite.
Is inaction your problem? You love options but can’t decide? Do you find it hard to stand up for yourself? Do you constantly doubt yourself?
Stereotypically, the first set is often associated with being masculine, while the second set is associated with being feminine. If you are a man, you are considered to be masculine, and if you are a woman, you are considered to be feminine.
But masculine and feminine energy have nothing do with gender, we all have both energies within us. Typically, men tend to have more masculine energy and women usually have more feminine energy but that’s not black & white!
However, because of our upbringing and culture, society has separated the two for thousands of years and we were taught that you are either a male or a female.
We are conditioned to think about certain qualities as “masculine” (i.e. assertive, dominant) and other qualities as “feminine” (i.e. intuitive, caring). So if you are a boy and you cry, you are probably labelled as a weak, “STOP IT, boys don’t cry”! Or if you are a girl, and you like to play with trucks and enjoy digging in the dirt rather than playing with dolls, you are labelled as masculine.
Therefore, we were never thought about how a female should approach her masculine side, or a male should approach his feminine side.
An interesting perspective, in my opinion, is offered by Chinese medical theory that talks about “Greater Yin” and “Greater Yang”.
Have you heard of Yin & Yang? Yin refers to the feminine energies in life, and Yang refers to the masculine energies in life. Giving is an action of our divine masculine, and receiving is an action of our divine feminine (it explains a lot about our culture, does not it?), and a balance of both energies is when we feel harmonious within. It’s simple but very challenging to achieve!
Let’s have a look at the Yin & Yang energy spectrum:
This is as feminine as it can get. This energy is associated with stillness, night time, intuition, creativity, feelings, and senses.
The Lesser Yin is slightly more fluid: Composition ranges from 60 percent to 80 percent yin and 20 percent to 40 percent yang energy.
Now we’re moving into dominant Yang/masculine energy (60 to 80 percent). This type is a little more extroverted, active, and dominant, with a tendency to move through life at a faster pace.
This is as masculine as it gets. Greater yang energy is assertive, goal-oriented, accomplished, and dominant. This energy is associated with daytime, activity, vision, and power.
The key for any love relationship is POLARITY.
The masculine and the feminine energies are like the poles of a magnet. Depending on where you are energetically on this pole, you will have a different relationship, i.e. whether you complement each other or continuously argue!
So, for instance, has it happened to you to feel a lot of chemistry, passion, and sexual attraction in your relationship? This means that you and your partner are entirely on opposite energy poles; one of you is extreme masculine and the other one is extremely feminine. If the energies are close to each other toward the centre of the pole, you probably have a good, stable relationship that could also make space for a deeper and more meaningful connection.
The imbalance happens when the energies fall into the same side of the pole.
What happens if both partners have masculine energy? Conflict! Masculine energies in a relationship create a constant power struggle between the two partners. Both want to be in charge, both want to be the decision-makers, and both want to have things their way!
What happens if both partners have feminine energy? Stagnation! Stagnant relationships come from two feminine partners where neither is comfortable in taking charge or making decisions. It is when relationships get boring, there is no adventure, no excitement, and nothing of significance is happening.
If a female has more masculine energy, she thrives with a partner that is in touch with his feminine side. If a male has more female energy, they will respect and be comfortable with their partners being in the workforce, being in charge, and having a direction in their lives.
On the contrary, females that demonstrate more of feminine energy are content with a masculine energy male to take control and be the dominant figure and the decision-maker.
When I coach people, we talk a lot about self-awareness and communication because you want to know yourself and you want to communicate your needs to your partner!
Final point: relationships that are successful are relationships that are balanced! Meaning that, from time to time, you harness your less dominant energy to spice up the relationship! A masculine might appreciate being lead from time to time, and a feminine might like when their partner brings more stability into the relationship. It is getting into that perfect Yin and Yang…where two pieces of a puzzle fit into each other perfectly.
How can we spot masculine and feminine energies?
Masculine energy is all about taking action. Masculine people love building and immediately fixing problems.
Masculine energy is protective and this is why feminine women love it because they look for a partner to protect them, they want to feel safe, and they are looking for the energy of protection.
Masculine energy is strong and stable; it’s self-confident.
Masculine energy likes to make decisions fast. It’s decisive. Masculine people know what they want and go after it.
Masculine energy loves direction and a purpose. It’s competitive and likes to win and break through barriers. It’s logical.
Masculine energy uses words more than emotions, and doesn’t hold on to little things. They look at the big picture.
Masculine people seek freedom and love acknowledgment. Masculine energy craves importance and want to be the heroes of the situation.
Masculine energy is represented by our left brain.
When masculine energy is appropriately used, it is creative, practical, and visionary. When masculine energy is misused, it can end in ego, anger, resentment, and have inner conflict.
Feminine energy is creative and inspiring - it’s the energy that creates life. It appreciates beauty, and it stimulates creativity. It’s nurturing, it’s supportive, like a loving mother. It desires love and craves to receive love to feel fulfilled. Masculine energy loves feminine energy because she is receptive of his love.
The feminine energy is intuitive and empathic.
The feminine energy is fluid, stormy, emotional, passionate, and it flows from moment to moment like the waters of a river.
Feminine energy craves to be seen, admired and appreciated. Nothing lights up feminine energy more than to give her a compliment.
Feminine energy is intelligent and loving energy that contains the quality of our compassion, emotion, empathy. When you are strong in your feminine, you have a strong connection to your body and intuition, and you can make decisions based on what you feel in your heart.
Feminine energy is receptive and represented by the right portion of the brain. Yet, if we are too much in our feminine, we can come across as weak and lose our personal power.
For years it was believed that men and women’s brains are wired differently – ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ idea – but now a growing body of research shows that neurologically we are all a mixture of both masculine and feminine traits.
Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, a psychologist at Cambridge University, believes that every human is on a spectrum between Systemizers and Empathizers:
Systemizers are people who enjoy breaking down and analyzing systems, focusing closely on one task - what we could describe as very masculine energy.
Empathizers, on the other hand, are great at empathizing with others and communicating well - which is in line with what we define as feminine energy.
According to Baron-Cohen’s research, 44 percent of women have empathizing brains, 17 percent of women have systemizing brains and 35 percent of women have brains that are roughly balanced between the two poles.
As far as men are concerned, Baron-Cohen found that 53 percent of men have systemizing brains, 17 percent have empathizing brains, and 24 percent are roughly balanced. The remaining 6 percent have an extreme male brain.
According to initial research, these differences are created in the womb according to how much testosterone you are exposed to as a foetus. Lots of testosterone in your mother’s womb causes your brain to develop a Systemized approach to life. Less testosterone in the womb leads to an Empathizing approach.
But is this really true? A new way of thinking suggests that hormonal differences play a very small part in why we are the way we are.
The latest research, conducted by Daphna Joel, a professor of neuroscience at Tel Aviv University, has found that we are all a mosaic of masculine and feminine features.
Joel analyzed the brain scans of more than 1400 men and women and failed to find consistent differences between the sexes. Instead she found that we are all a unique mixture of male and female features. Her study discovered that only between zero and eight percent of people had all male or all female brains. The vast majority of people were somewhere in the middle, showing that gender isn’t binary.
Despite having two sexes, male and female, when it comes to energy this opens up an entirely new spectrum of possibilities, which is a reminder of the beauty and the diversity that our world has to offer.
Make your life a masterpiece, I appreciate you and I hope you have an amazing day.