Ask yourself these questions to get clarity on your goals
Hi guys! I have decided to start a blog where I discuss the content of my Spotify & Apple Podcast in written form. Hope you enjoy it! :)
Here are some questions to help you get clarity on your goals.
Do you remember the Wheel of Life? I will ask questions for those areas and I will also add a couple of sections that will be important to explore. Life is all about asking the right questions, so I hope this will help.
1. Career - Corporate or Entrepreneurship
What are your career goals? Some people want a promotion, others want to lead a team, others want to be individual contributors. Maybe you want to leave your position and start a new job? Start a side hustle?
If you are an employee, think about the relationship you have with your colleagues and the opportunities to grow and make an impact you have in your daily job.
If you are an entrepreneur, how happy are you with your business? Is it thriving? What is the exact revenue target you want to hit in Y1, Y2, etc?
If you want to leave your job, how much money do you need in your emergency fund to be able to leave your job?
2. Financial Goals – Money
How much money do you want to make? How much do you want to save? Why is this goal important to you?
Most of us are proud and we never admit we need some help with relationships; and when I coach people we realize that the thing that is pissing them off a lot is relationships!
What Vision do you have for your relationships? The reason why your Reticular Activating System (i.e. the region of your brain that filters incoming information) is not able to find the partner you want, is because most of you have no idea of what the partner you want looks like. I remember once my best friend’s wife asked me “What kind of girls do you like?” and I spent 30 minutes explaining exactly what I look for and she was like “Omg I just needed to know blonde or brunette”.
In Business we talk a lot about the Vision, well, let’s do the same for your private life. Define your Vison for your relationship. If you are single, what does your partner look like? Maybe you want to get out of a relationship? That’s also a goal, getting out of a toxic relationship.
What is the relationship you want to have with your spouse? With your children? With your parents?
What this relationship should look like? How can you show up as a better parent, a partner, a son, a brother?
Write down the exact boundaries you want to put in place to ensure you have peace of mind!
5. Health - Self-care - Physique
Do you want to gain muscle? How much do you want to weigh? Do you want to go vegan, pescatarian, no more alcohol, no more dairy, etc? I completely changed my diet after studying the benefits of an alkaline diet! Do you need more sleep? What is your chronotype? At what time do you need to go to bed and wake up to feel energised?
6. Mindset & Materialism
What are the goods you want to buy in the next months?
For all of you who know me, you know I am a minimalist. It could be because I moved 15 times in my life, but I literally travel with 2 pairs of trousers, 10 t-shirts and 2 sweaters. End of my wardrobe.
I grew up in a family that has always been concerned about our financial situation and I think sometimes they mistook valuing money with having a poor mindset. I basically grew up thinking that rich people should be taxed at 100% and all their money redistributed to the poor people.
I then grew up and of course I saw some spoiled and arrogant rich people, but I also saw things that clashed with my upbringing, for instance these rich people start businesses and give jobs to thousands of people, and they use those profits to reinvest in charity.
Clarity was given to me by a Mentor of mine who said that money simply amplifies who you are. If you are a asshole in a suit, you will be a asshole in a Lamborghini. But if you are generous, you will be the most generous!
So, the mindset of wanting more and more things is not negative; if you think that all millionaires are bad and should donate their money, you have a bad psychology around money and you think very little about your ability to use money for a greater good.
This is my philosophy: you should do what allows you to be the best version of yourself. If buying that car makes you happy, go for it! Why not buying it? Fuck the haters! As far as I am concerned, I love minimalism and using money for a better world, but you might want to buy a villa; as long as you are kind to human beings and you do not impose your worldview on others, as long as you show up happy and you project happiness, the world will be a better place.
7. Personal development
This is, in my opinion, the most important goal. And it is a goal that no one has.
If I asked you “How much is your rent? How much is your car payment? How much is your phone bill?”, you could give me an exact answer, am I wrong?
What if I asked you “What is your growth budget?”. No one has an answer for that!
Here is the catch, most important piece of all the podcast: while all your budgets have an upper limit (for instance, you should not save more than 200€ per month on a car otherwise you do not have money for food), your growth budget must have a lower limit! In other words, what I am trying to say is that the best return on investment you can have is spending money on yourself. If your growth budget is 300€ a month and you spend 200€, in that month you are not growing as much as you could!
What should an investment in personal development look like? Some of you confuse self-care with personal development. Self-care is going for a massage, personal development is increasing your knowledge and skillset, for example books, courses, hiring a coach, etc. Make a plan of how many books you want to read this year for instance.
How do you want to spiritually grow? It can be religion or something else, such as yoga! You can meditate every morning, you might journal, you might practice appreciation and gratitude, you might sit in silence and think and not let your mind go crazy.
What is preventing you from achieving more joy and piece? Is it a relationship, is it your body? Is it your financial situation?
My advice is schedule time to think! I am not religious, I am agnostic, so I do not pray for instance, but I am deeply grateful to the Universe for everything it has given me.
How do you want to interact with people? Do you want to be happier, more helpful, more focused on yourself? Remember my friend Anil, choose growth and happiness over everything! How would you like people to see you?
Powerful tip: write your own eulogy/tribute!
If you were to die this year, how would you like people to remember and describe you? What do you want people to say at your funeral? “Oh Matteo was always…”. Typically, we want to develop good character traits! Writing your own eulogy will give you clarity on the kind of person you want to be!
10. Adventure & Experiences
Fun, adventure and experiences are the most important thing in life. I had a huge self-limiting belief, coming directly from my family, that life is all about hard work and sacrifice. I was wrong!
Fun is the most important thing in life. So, what do you want to experience? Would you like to travel? Where? Connect it to the budgeting part and plan how much money you need to travel.
Do you want to become a ski instructor? What do you want to do with your spouse? Maybe a trip? Maybe you want to watch a movie or try something new in the bedroom? Connect this with your relationship goals.
Final advice: do not be realistic. Being realistic is the worst advice my friends and family ever gave me. Realise that being “realistic” actually means putting self-limitations on yourself. Everything can be real if we push the right buttons.
Nothing is realistic except to what we define as real.
Take 45 minutes and think about these things. It is worth it because your happiness depends on it 😊
Make your life a masterpiece, I appreciate you and I hope you have an amazing day.